Gary Screaton Page, Ph.D.

By Gary Screaton Page, Ph.D.

Copyright © 2008-2010 by Gary Screaton Page. All rights reserved.

[This article may be reproduced as is with none of the content changed except for spelling as appropriate for the country in which the reproduced articled appears, and further that all links are included as well as the copyright information.]

Jacob Franks

Jacob Franks was reputed to have left an estate worth $2,000,000. He went into business in Chicago, at only nineteen years of age, with the determination to follow the rule—save money. His formula for success was as follows:

1.  Good fortune cannot come unless you have capital with which to seize opportunity when it appears.

2.  Save money and be ready to invest.

3.  Never borrow capital, and never owe a dollar that you cannot pay on demand.

Gary Screaton Page, Ph.D. is a Registered Psychotherapist and author of Pressing Your Own Buttons: How to Take Control of Your Life So Others Don’t™ at http://ww.pressingyourownbuttons.com]

By Gary Screaton Page, Ph.D.

Copyright © 2008-2010 by Gary Screaton Page. All rights reserved.

[This article may be reproduced as is with none of the content changed except for spelling as appropriate for the country in which the reproduced articled appears, and further that all links are included as well as the copyright information.]

 Among all human fears, one of the greatest is speaking in public. Most of us are at least a little apprehensive about standing up and speaking in front of others, even to a small group of trusted friends. Yet, those who can speak well in public enjoy more success in business than those who cannot. Consider this. Suppose you are part of a workplace team tasked with pulling together a marketing plan for the organization. The job done, someone must report the findings. Whom will the boss remember: the team who put together the report, or the messenger who delivers it? The presenter of course: the one who speaks on behalf of the group.

A smaller group of people, but still quite significant given that their numbers are in the millions, have a persistent, intense, and chronic fear of being watched and judged by others. They are anxious that what they say will embarrass or even humiliate them. They dread the consequences of their own actions. In many cases, their fear may be so severe that it interferes with their work and other everyday activities. Often, physical symptoms accompany their intense anxiety—their social phobia if you will. They blush, sweat profusely, tremble visibly, may become nauseous, and even have difficulty breathing, let alone talking.

Shyness (social phobia or Social Anxiety Disorder) can be a serious problem. Certainly, it can be career limiting. Characterized by overwhelming anxiety and excessive self-consciousness in everyday social situations, it can be debilitating. While social phobia may rear its ugly head in a very limited number of situations such as a person fearing to speak in only formal situations, in more severe cases it may express itself as a fear of eating or drinking in front of others. In its most debilitating form, a person may experience symptoms every time they find them selves among other people.

Fortunately, as painfully limiting as social phobias may be—including simple shyness—there are some easy-to-learn, practical steps that can help most people deal with them. In many cases just seven steps can make a profound difference. With a little time, some focused effort and these Seven Steps for Personal Freedom™ most people suffering from social anxiety can once again, lead productive, fulfilling lives.
 
STEP 1: Imagine the anxiety-producing situation. Get a clear picture of it.
 
STEP 2: Pretend you are a scientist looking at this situation. Write—be certain to WRITE down—exactly what you and others involved see, hear, and do.
 
STEP 3: Imagine that those who may be negatively affecting you are in a cage, surrounded by a hedge, behind an unbreakable glass barrier, etc. Imagine you are a scientist examining their behavior as they do their thing. At first, do this for just a few seconds, then for longer and longer periods.
 
STEP 4: Now, more comfortable imagining the other person, picture yourself doing something different from what you usually do.
 
STEP 5: When the above situation comes up again, do STEPS 1 through 4, for real this time! At first, just look at the person. As this becomes easier, do STEP 4.
 
STEP 6: Reappraisal. What do they actually say, do, and look like? Chances are, at this stage, these things are not so bad after all.
 
STEP 7: Where did you learn this evaluation? For example, what did your parents do when they were in a similar situation? How about a teacher, your boss, or a close friend? What did they say, or do? How did they look?
 
Repeat these steps for each situation in which you feel yourself getting anxious. Take control of your career so others don’t!

[Copyright © 2008-2010 by Gary Screaton Page. All rights reserved. http://www.pressingyourownbuttons.com] 

By Gary Screaton Page, Ph.D.

Copyright © 2008-2010 by Gary Screaton Page. All rights reserved.

[This article may be reproduced as is with none of the content changed except for spelling as appropriate for the country in which the reproduced articled appears, and further that all links are included as well as the copyright information.]

Russell Sage

Russell Sage was the dean of American financiers. He set out in pursuit of his $100,000,000 as an errand boy in a country grocery store. His maxims were these:

1.  Be temperate and you will be happy.

2.  Plain food, an easy mind, and sound sleep make a man young at eighty-six.

3.  Opportunities arc disgusted with men who don’t recognize them.

4.  Despair is the forerunner of failure. Next to a fat purse is a “stiff upper lip.”

5.  When a man “loses his head,” he mustn’t complain about the other fellow taking an advantage. Keep cool and freeze out the enemy.

C. B. Rouss

At the time of his death, Charles Broadway Rouss was worth more than $6,000,000. He began his business career as a clerk in a small store. His success was the result of, among other things, the following seven maxims embracing the essentials of his very successful business career:

1.  The dignity of labor is the greatest of all dignities; the genius of work is the greatest of all geniuses.

2.  Industry, integrity, economy, and promptness are cardinal requisites to certain and honorable success.

3.  Merit is the trademark of success; quality the true test of value.

4.  Success is not in time, place, or circumstance, but in the man.

5.  Credit and partnerships arc the scourge of commercial history and the bane of commercial experience.

6.  Beware of the gifts of the Greeks; they allure that they may destroy; credit is tempting, but ruin surely follows in its path.

7.  Burn the ledger and learn to say No; this is best for both buyer and seller.

Henry Clews

Henry Clews began his working life as a messenger boy in an English woolen factory. By the middle of the 1800’s he was worth in excess of $8,000,000. Clews attributed his rise in life to his belief in these simple mottoes:

1.  It requires other things than ambition to become a millionaire; making everything count for something is one of the other things.

2.  Sobriety, honesty, and industry arc the three graces of a successful business career.

3.  Save without parsimony; spend without lavishness.

4.  Sound health, a clear head, wise economy, and work, work, work will declare big dividends far any one who looks well after the original investment.

5.  Shun wild speculations, and be satisfied with slow but sure returns for money invested.

[Gary Screaton Page, Ph.D. is a Registered Psychotherapist and author of Pressing Your Own Buttons: How to Take Control of Your Life So Others Don’t™ at http://ww.pressingyourownbuttons.com]

Temptations are a fact of life. The problem is many people give in to them. They drink, eat, and gamble too much, or they, steal, cheat on their income taxes or on their partners. They give in to their impulses. Often we give in to temptations by telling ourselves little lies that make yielding to temptation not seem so bad.Perhaps you, as have I, said to yourself, ‘Oh, one more donut won’t really hurt me. Besides, I can always do a few extra pushups tomorrow to work it off.’ This kind of self-talk is in fact fortune-telling. Rarely do we actually get around to doing the extra pushups and worse, we start beating up on ourselves for the extra weight ‘one more donut’ puts on us.

So, why do we do this? We want what we want and so we put a positive spin on otherwise negative thinking. In the case of the extra donut, we put a positive spin on a future prediction. Only this prediction isn’t true. That extra donut can hurt us. We usually don’t make up for it with extra exercise. And the result is we beat up on ourselves later. How much better off we would be if we called the extra donut what it is - unnecessary and potentially harmful.

This is only one of many positive spins we put on the otherwise negative self-talk we hear on the tapes we play in our heads the playing of which leads to depression, anxiety, and other forms of internal stress.

We need to recognize these “lies” for what they are. Learning to speak honestly to ourselves is one key to a healthy mental outlook. We need to be aware when we are making such distortions so we will not yield to temptations that will harm us.

Think of a temptation that you gave in to. Perhaps you lit up ‘one last cigarette’ before you quit ‘for good.’ Maybe you drank one drink too many and risked driving home afterward. Or, like the 46% of tax payers who freely admit that “given the opportunity,” they would overstate expenses on their tax returns. Below, describe the temptation and note the convincing thoughts that ran through your mind to make giving in easier to do. Next, write beside each of these statements, alternative “true” statements that might have changed your mind. How did your original thoughts distort the truth?

Viktor Frankl said, “We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in numbers, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms — to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”

By Gary Screaton Page

http://www.pressingyourownbuttons.com

Copyright © 2010 by Gary Screaton Page. All rights reserved.

[Notice: This article may be reproduced and distributed on condition that nothing is added or changed, and it includes all links contained herein as well as the above copyright notice and source information.]

Seventy percent of all workers hate their jobs. So says a recent Gallup poll. Job dissatisfaction leads to high absenteeism, employee turnover, and lost productivity. Enjoying what you do can make the difference between merely getting by in business and excelling in it. The greatest satisfaction, and the highest income, accrues to those who pursue their passions. Here is how to find yours.

 First, make a chronological list of several peak moments in your life. Begin by recalling a particularly happy time before you started school. Then, note a peak experience that occurred during your elementary school years. The next could have happened while you were in high school. Then, think of one when you were a young adult. You get the idea.

 Now, think back. What made these moments special to you? Was it the attention paid to you? Perhaps it was your feeling of accomplishment. Maybe it was the exhilaration of the experience itself. Whatever made each of these moments special then is what drives you now. That is what makes you perfectly suitable to do what you ought to be doing for your living. It is what makes you exceed even your own expectations.

 Next, consider what you do well that others do not. Perhaps, you have a feel for what makes a great picture. Maybe you are a powerful encourager or team leader. On the other hand, you may be great with cars, or an expert sailor. What you do most effortlessly is also a signpost to your passion.

 Finally, think about what you can create with your talent. For example, my friend, Barry Shainbaum, is an accomplished photographer who recently released his new book, Hope and Heroes. Barry takes powerful pictures for which others gladly pay good money. Through his camera lens, Barry not only found his way out of bipolar disease, but also got to meet and photograph some of the most accomplished men and women of our time.

 My wife, a people-oriented woman, has a passion for art. This talent she displayed early in life. During her many stays in Welland hospital, in appreciation for their care, she draws caricatures of the staff, then, gives them the artwork. She has also sold many of her paintings and drawings as well. Art thieves so admired some of them, that they deftly removed all of her pieces from one collector’s home.

 An uncle had a passion for selling ideas. A visionary, he turned his passion into a career. First hired as a “copyboy,” he became Vice-President of Marketing for the largest retail chain in the Southern United States at that time, Maison Blanc in New Orleans, Louisiana.

 You, too, have some special skill, interest–some “thing”–you can do better than anyone you know can do it. If you have not done so already, you can turn that talent into a service or product for which others will gladly pay you.

 Get a handle on your passion. What you cannot do well, give to others. Do what you do best. Hire, or partner with, others who do what they do better than you can do it. Let everything else go. Focus like a laser-beam on your passion. You will love what you do and you will never work a day in your life!