Eve Not the Only One Who Has Picked Forbidden Fruit
Temptations are a fact of life. The problem is many people give in to them. They drink, eat, and gamble too much, or they, steal, cheat on their income taxes or on their partners. They give in to their impulses. Often we give in to temptations by telling ourselves little lies that make yielding to temptation not seem so bad.Perhaps you, as have I, said to yourself, ‘Oh, one more donut won’t really hurt me. Besides, I can always do a few extra pushups tomorrow to work it off.’ This kind of self-talk is in fact fortune-telling. Rarely do we actually get around to doing the extra pushups and worse, we start beating up on ourselves for the extra weight ‘one more donut’ puts on us.
So, why do we do this? We want what we want and so we put a positive spin on otherwise negative thinking. In the case of the extra donut, we put a positive spin on a future prediction. Only this prediction isn’t true. That extra donut can hurt us. We usually don’t make up for it with extra exercise. And the result is we beat up on ourselves later. How much better off we would be if we called the extra donut what it is - unnecessary and potentially harmful.
This is only one of many positive spins we put on the otherwise negative self-talk we hear on the tapes we play in our heads the playing of which leads to depression, anxiety, and other forms of internal stress.
We need to recognize these “lies” for what they are. Learning to speak honestly to ourselves is one key to a healthy mental outlook. We need to be aware when we are making such distortions so we will not yield to temptations that will harm us.
Think of a temptation that you gave in to. Perhaps you lit up ‘one last cigarette’ before you quit ‘for good.’ Maybe you drank one drink too many and risked driving home afterward. Or, like the 46% of tax payers who freely admit that “given the opportunity,” they would overstate expenses on their tax returns. Below, describe the temptation and note the convincing thoughts that ran through your mind to make giving in easier to do. Next, write beside each of these statements, alternative “true” statements that might have changed your mind. How did your original thoughts distort the truth?
Viktor Frankl said, “We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in numbers, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms — to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”
No matter what our circumstances we always have a choice. We do not have to give in to our temptations. By identifying the positive distortions of our otherwise negative thinking, we can see the self-talk that makes forbidden fruit look so appetizing. We can see it for what it is - lies! Twisted thinking, always leads to stress and anxiety. Statements that distort truth in any way, even if that way seems pleasant, will always prove self-defeating.